Jasmine Hart

I really enjoyed this piece, the atmosphere was great and your language (unsurprisingly) is beautiful, especially in the first paragraph. The first two paragraphs in particular were brilliant. Now...a

This was an interesting piece, and, as always, your description was great. I loved the dialogue, it really brought the piece to life. Paragraphs four and five were great. I'm ...

This was nice. Your descriptions are very good, especially in the first and second stanzas. I didn't like "belated, little genius." as it sounded odd, and it didn't make much ...

Firstly, I'd like to see some more punctuation here. Was the contradiction in the first verse intentional? If not, I'd rework either line two or line three.Preferably line two, as ...

I'd scrap the rhyme, as I think that it's restraining you. E.g, phrases such as "your romance of the night" sound a little awkward. If you like it and want ...

I liked this, but, like Claudette, I'd suggest using punctuation. And now, for the part where I make absolutely no sense, but try really, really hard to, and hope that ...

You're right about it not being finished, but I did enjoy this. "Repait" was a typo. (Just to tell ya!Sometimes, they seem to slip past...) I think you could be ...

I liked the first stanza, though a comma or two wouldn't go amiss. It flowed well and had good rhythm. I liked the alliteration of the first line, and I ...

I like the rhyming couplets and would suggest maintaining them throughout. If you don't agree, I'd suggest that you say "go for a walk" instead of "on", for no reason ...

I like it, but I'd use punctuation. I know there's an article on it around here somewhere, but I can't for the life of me remember where... "My useless words ...

Your subject matter was interesting, but the rhyme here didn't do anything for me, as it seemed forced and I really don't think it added to your poem. Maybe try ...

I think that your tone was somewhat confused here. Until you said "We fly and do not hop", the tone was serious (for want of a better word), and then ...

I liked this. It made me smile. I think that the last line needs to be a syllable longer though. Maybe try saying "rather" instead of "quite", as that should ...

Wow.Just give me a moment to get over the sheer brilliance of this, then I might actually be able to say something constructive... Ok. I'd take out "I am right, ...

This is nice, but I think that it could be more poweful towards the end. I couldn't really feel the affect which this fella had on the speaker, and I'd ...